By: Malika Bennett
I had a thrilling conversation with a friend of mine about “HATERS…” This friend of mine is a motivating force to me because she is driven and living her dreams. She is not just sitting around and fantasizing about her dreams – but she is making her dreams a reality. She is making moves, so naturally she would be a magnet for the topic at hand, which is “HATERS…”
My friend began sharing some interesting but disturbing stories about a lady aka “HATER” at work who “TRIED” to make her life a living hell. For whatever reason, this lady did not like my outgoing and ambitious people-loving friend. Of course naturally, this got us talking about “HATERS..” in our life. If it’s one thing any successful person knows anything about, it’s “HATERS…” A HATER is basically someone who is jealous of you and dislikes you for no real reason. Usually this misguided emotion of “HATE” is rooted in their own insecurities and jealousy. They act out on these feelings towards you by trying to harm you or your reputation. For example, they may tell lies about you behind your back, gossip about you, act nasty towards you, they don’t speak to you when you speak to them, they may try to sabotage advancement opportunities geared towards you or trying to get others to dislike you. In other words, they put all their might into TRYING to make your life miserable. But as you may know, they can only succeed if you let them.
After hearing my friend’s story I began to relate to my own personal life situation and realized, I got a few of those “HATERS” in my life. So, I asked my friend “do you think you are a magnet for haters?” She replied, “you know that’s a good question. I’m definitely a magnet for haters.” She continued, “I think it’s because I’m driven, I don’t play those games, and I am about my business.” After reflecting she shared with me that this particular lady was her exact opposite and she believed that this woman was jealous of her. This lady and my friend were like night and day, they were like vinegar and oil. And as the saying goes “vinegar and oil do not mix.” My friend was outgoing, this lady was quiet. My friend was considered the “go-to” person for information and resources on the job, where this lady had little to no visitors to her desk. The list goes on.
But then my friend began preaching and teaching. She continued to tell me that she learned in a sermon not too long ago about HATERS and how to deal with them. That Sunday her Pastor shared a message with her that still resonates in her standard operating procedure for life. And it resonates with me too. The message is that “not everyone deserves a spot on your front pew….” This sermon changed her perspective on this lady and her experiences with jealous and manipulative or just hateful people. This message caused her to re-evaluate her relationships and people in her life and to stop putting energy into people who aren’t adding real value to her life.
So the message that I am sharing today is to “get in where you fit in….” Find positive like-minded people who will lift you up in times of trouble and gladly celebrate your accomplishments in times of triumph. Don’t put anymore energy into people who don’t add value to your life. In other words, get the haters off your FRONT PEW. Honestly, get them out of your own personal sanctuary, known as your life. Also, I believe in praying for your enemies or people who celebrate your misery an snot your victories. Last but not least, know that if you have a HATER, you are probably doing something right. My mom often says “the enemy attacks the most when you are living according to Gods will….” This happens because anytime you are living for God, you are a threat to the enemy. So keep that in mind when you are dealing with those types of people. The question is moving forward from today onward, who will be on your front pew? Once you determine that, then you know where and how to spend the majority of your energy.