I am learning that it is best to remove the expectations from people you care about and you will be so much happier and at peace with yourself or situations in life. I struggle because I often see “what could be” or the “potential” in people. I see the hurt and often look past the hurt and see the good – which can be both a gift and a curse.
I say it can be a gift or a curse because when people listen to the insight or wisdom that I open up and share and then use that knowledge to improve their lives, I feel so proud and wonderful. Witnessing the change in their lives and seeing them happier and becoming more engaged in life or more focused on the things that matter – well, that is exciting! But when I see them doing “the same old, same old” it’s draining and can be unsettling.
I mean, I’m not going to front it is out right frustrating when you offer insight or advice to someone and they turn around and keep making the same mistakes and then they come back to you complaining about the same problems. Sometimes I want to tell them “shut up” and sometimes I do end the conversation because it is a waste of my time to talk about something they aren’t fixing.
So here it is, when you are being a “good friend” or simply providing friendly advice to anyone, keep your sanity and peace of mind by removing any expectations from the insights you give. An expectation might be thinking “they will change their ways,” “they will stop sleeping around,” “they will stop eating fatty foods,” “they will exercise,” “they will leave him or her alone,“ “they will stop smoking,” or that “they will go back to school.” It is basically anything you think they might do or say as a result of your insight.
My challenge to you and to myself is to work on resisting the urge to place expections on people, especially those you truly love and care about because you are the closest to them and that “up’s the ante.” To keep it real, we should work on removing “expectations” from all of our relationships – I’m talking co-workers, bosses, clients, friends, lovers and even strangers we may meet in passing and share insights with. Removing expectations may be uncomfortable at first, but in the end, it will make you a happier and more pleasant person to be around because you’re placing the burden on them to act on that advice and not on you. Remember leave your expectations behind you … it’s the best thing that you can do for yourself and your peace of mind.
Have a great day!!!!