It sometimes seems like I’m always the one to fix “it”.
Even when I’m only responsible for half of the situation.
But lately I’ve been forcing myself to not be the fixer.
Especially when the other person did me wrong.
I’m proud of that. For me that’s growth.
In relationships (and I’m not just talking romantic),
I ask myself why should I care if they don’t care
This is me saying, enough is enough
Because after a while anyone will get tired of being the “caregiver”
If you are always the “caregiver” or “nurturer” and never getting that love, respect and support returned — then you’ll burn yourself out and use all your energy — which leaves resentment…
See as I matured, I realized that relationships will never work if it’s one way
All relationships are meant to be two-way
And there has to be mutual respect and mutual “care-giving” involved in order to fix misunderstandings and mistakes and to make the “wrongs” … “right..”
Each person has to be willing to take ownership for their wrong-doings…
Each person must be selfless and walk in humility … ready to tackle the problem…
ready to apologize, to forgive, to try to and do better, to try and understand and to step back and look at the situation from a different angle.
Someone once told me, you can not fight if only one person is willing to be in the boxing ring. Both people have to be WILLING in order to make it work
Someone once said (thank you TD Jakes) that the problem with folks today is that people want to claim ownership of something but then they don’t want to take care of it…
Yes, this applies not only to material things but also to friendships and romantic relationships as well
Trust me, I don’t want to resort to the “If you don’t care, I don’t care” attitude or mentality but it’s a great way for me to put up walls and create healthy boundaries
I believe Socrates said …
“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down…”
Do you care? Do you really care? Those are things that need to be shown for any relationship to grow …
I believe that when both people care about each other enough then they can and will bulldoze any protective walls preventing a wonderful union to take place
They will bulldoze through the fear, the doubt, the resistance and even the opinions of others that are not part of the relationship …..
When the bulldozing or caring happens then MAGIC can take place … bonds are made stronger, love stories are written….families are built and “forevers “are created….
But both people must be willing to invest in the relationship …
Both people must be fixers
Both people must commit to staying … even if the other one has fears that sometimes tempt them to leave the boxing ring … too soon….
All in all for any relationship to work effectively and produce good fruit
Both people must be willing to say “I care ….” and back it up in their actions towards one another ….
Just a few thoughts …. thanks for reading!